stuff about time

Who cares what the hand of fate is doing?

For while in it, the fingers are invisible but felt ghosts

Whispering and pinching on necks

Prodding the habitual clusters in the brains

Slamming doors in the night

The arm of fate lying heavy and dead

As a bag of sand

Across my calloused hymen

These are things I will never get to remember

Branches of my self pruned

So that I may grow strong in a line

With a twist or two of free will for aesthetic sensibility

Yes, the hand of fate is the extremity of a gardener

Perhaps the clippings of you constitute dreams and death?

Moderate minister to get new colors courage

Accumulating a range of living actual laters

Strings to now vascular karmic hermitage

Open the broad side the edge the crack in the pillow

And wedge your hair in transmit via drainage

What time did in you


this road goes under the ocean
between Oakland California and Aukland New Zeland
and all roads are one road-time

in a far field...
where your car can't go-
when your shoes fall apart
you are out of time
space is antagonistic to 
industrialized rubber?

time is right here always
but we don't have to be

time is a fire and 
intelligence is its fuel

keep time 
keep time 
keep it 
keep it 
keep 
keep...
keep it where?
in a space?

out of time and into the space 
where everyone keeps their time
shards of time 
lodged in discarded hearts
evidence of new hearts 
made of local mud and plastic
and call the geo-genesis "Roots"
progress
regress
egress
digress
dysgress
congress

M

When I first noticed you and you were orange

You were so pretty

I didn’t want to look at you or notice you anymore

Or think of you or adapt to your color

 

Then the next time you were orange

You were so beautiful that it was ok

You were so beautiful

That is was safe to talk to you

And walk beside you

And that is what is beautiful about your walk

It is a creative walk

Like you are chasing life

-as opposed to the people who are running from it-

And there is nothing in your way

Because every thing that crosses your path belongs to you

Because you make these things beautiful

By regarding them

Giving them the opportunity to be beautiful

Proximity

When you are nearby, I begin to lose my mind-

which is good because the mind is a temporary fix built to be shed

When I start to shed it, it doesn’t weigh anything

Ego says our minds should feel heavy when we lay them down

Ego wants the burden of our mind to be a burden on the world

But I find the sensation to be more like smoke

Even more so like a comet’s tail.

Beauty explodes my mind

I cannot operate in my old manner when you are near

But my old manner was fear

When you are near I feel out of control

And all I can do is admit to myself over and

over again that I never had any control.

It is as if the power has gone out and, accepting,

I don’t feel inclined to try and get the lights back on ASAP.

I sit in the dark with you

I want to know what makes you smile

Because when you smile I am not afraid of anything

I try to be beautiful

Because I am allowed to be now that I am not afraid.

I thought I already knew how

I try to figure out if I was right, still not sure

It doesn’t matter

Trying to be beautiful means I am trying to be alive

sanity?

when i am around people, i feel like i have to shake them up, drag them into reality

or just avoid their spirit altogether

i feel like if we are going to coexist i will have to out-insane them

by holding up a mirror, saying every real thing in my mind out loud

i am not a fear-motivated person

and it seems rare to not be motivated by fear

and men and women are very different when motivated by something besides fear,
something like purpose

and when fear is not the motivator, men and women can be as different as can be and it is not a problem at all because they can see each other and see the usefulness of each other

but when men and women are just trying to escape their fear, they are both fighting for the same tiny tiny safe space and see each other as rivals and enemies and shit gets real bad. lovers can share the safe space for a while, but then one or the other will get extra scared and take more and the other person will just be out there afraid and alone

i dont know what can could should happen

and i don't even care

and it feels 

GOOOOOOOOOD

to not care one bit

what any of this means

it's happening

that's all

i'm already here

how to tell a bobcat from a tomcat

were you planning on revealing your plan? planning on it no; was i planning on reveling? reveling on a plane or worrying a piano? no i'm purposefully relevant. no, i'm washing the plants; wishes it was wednesday. wink if you wake up flying. walking flu so pale and worthless. weren't you pairing nests with piranhas? that wasn't the plan. when will you want to fess up? why waste revelations on plain faces? was i whistling? in patterns... in favorite poses...

Morning

saying a lot in the morning 
by staying
bells will be playing - far away

lights uncurl without warning
pockets of night
consumed in bites

flee the museum of deforming
envy and envy
charging motionlessly

fur on your cheek warming
as it were
enter the sun's foyer

sleep between storming
the water is deep
keep what you can keep