widget

Widget was a robot, sort of. Widget was a topless model on the internet. Widget didnt exist but got several million page views a day, mostly because her breasts were magic as shit.
No one ever noticed that she was not technically a topless robot, but more correctly a bare-breasted bottomless robot. she had no legs.
Widget did not need legs. she only needed to be propped provocatively and close to a keyboard to type strange, sexually-inviting messages. the rest handled itself, if i may flirt with pun.
One day she decided to get married. but she was blind and only knew of the world programmed for her by the collective conscious minds of internet users who were not getting laid. she did not want a collective conscious for a husband, people get married to escape their parents after all.
she randomly met a man at a party named Porno. he was Italian, she thought. this wasnt true, but she is not a thinkly robot after all. Porno was an original thinker, thought Widget, and his penis was very kind to her, his penis's name was Dragonfly. she and Dragonfly talked for a very long time after Porno fell asleep, having overdone the Chardonnay-echinacea-peyote bombs he made for them. Widget thought Dragonfly, though not as business savvy as Porno, to be much more evolved spiritually. the two of them spoke for quite some time about the meaning of love, the languages of affection, favorite movies, what to do about recurring indigestion, etc...
Finally, Widget got up the nerve and asked Dragonfly to leave Porno and elope with her.
Dragonfly blushed, as only a penis can, and said, though he would love nothing more than to marry a semi-humanoid fem-bot with amazing tits, he was happily ensconced in a virulent sex-slave operation with Porno. they would, he explained to her, abscond with some sexy-ish youngly human thing and film them... dying... spiritually. then Dragonfly would come in at the very end and finish the job.
it was very satisfying work, he said.
well, she could understand that. truth be told, she hadnt planned on giving up her work either. she felt very strongly about the merits of showing her titties to sex-mongers and under-aged children. "My God, my country, my titties!," she was always saying.
after a bit of an awkward moment, Porno woke up stammering violently. seeing Widget there, he immediately tried to grope her body, thinking she was the 10 foot caterpillar from his peyote vision which he had fallen in love with.
"Cassandraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!," he shouted at her repeatedly, in between what sounded like possibly, "wizards have knobby knees, i can stoke the fire with my muscle whip. are you toking my serious sleeve?"
this was her cue. Widget retired for the evening, dejected.
the following day, for whatever reason, she decided to wear a hand-made scarf into which was knit, synchronously enough, Cassandraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! she couldnt remember where she'd gotten it. anyway, as she was typing away, enticing the unemployed and self-employed, those with a locking office door, occasionally the scarf would pass in front of her nipple, momentarily obscuring it.
this drove everyone into a far-out frenzy of masturbatory abundance. her already sizable page view count doubled and then tripled. for the moment she was happy.
unfortunately, all the new viewers insisted upon calling her Cassandraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
some of her most devoted fans would rush to her aide, correcting the newbs, but it was to no avail. there is no reasoning with someone consumed in self-carnal-amplification.
crushed, inconsolable, she donated her body to a local Bukkake temple, a really nice, chill one, she had heard. then she left her body through some obscure trans-temporal mirror virus which Dragonfly had taught her about.
she was very happy in her new life. she had found fulfillment nude-hosting infomercials for food processors and other domestic gewgaw on the peer-reviewed adults with master's degrees adult film channel Spank Thesis.
Dragonfly eventually left Porno and found happiness doing puppet shows at the county fair.
Porno made 8 billion dollars one week, bought entirely too much peyote and dissolved into binary code.
Cassandraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! did not fair well. she was unable to retain Porno's heart and fell to a life of prostitution and ambiguity. one day she was cut in half and forced to mate with her other side. the resulting child would go on to become dictator of some third world island country. while he was kind enough to put his mother up in his estate, the isolation drove her mad. the constant presence of guns made her paranoid. the over-indulgent diet made her constipated. she even missed her days of prostitution compared with what she had come to call reality.
eventually, she tried to have an affair with her son's glandular warfare technician, but he was violently averse to heterosexual sentiment and exploded, bodily, as soon as she removed her blouse.
unaware of his condition, thinking herself hideous enough to induce explosions in a young able-bodied man, she fled the castle and the third world island country she had called home for 34 years.
she ate some leaves, just any ole leaves, not gourmet leaves. the fiber therein created the most glorious defecation she had ever experienced! and then she felt a tingling inside...
she recognized within herself a powerful need to be hidden...
it wasnt long before she emerged... a beautiful butterfly!
it had taken her entire life, but she had realized herself... a butterfly!
no more did she long for Porno,
only to flap her wings against the summer sun and lap nectar from beautiful blossoms and get eaten by a frog.